Homeschooling With a Large Age Gap
I think one of the troubles with homeschooling is that it’s easy to find yourself feeling like your experience is unique to the world. I know I began to feel this way about our time homeschooling two kids with an almost 6-year-age gap. When I started sharing more about how homeschool looks for us, more and more people reached out, sharing their experience with homeschooling with a large age gap.
Many tips for homeschooling with a toddler in tow rely on the use of middle siblings. When you have two kids (or more) and a large age gap, there isn’t a middle sibling to call on for help. When you’re trying to homeschool and you’re the only one to manage the needs of everyone, it can feel overwhelming.
For me, I need to give myself and my toddlers grace in the distractions. When I was in the classroom, it wasn’t often I had a lesson that was free from distraction. Be it a call from the front office, another student talking, or a parent visiting the classroom. When I feel guilty about distractions in our home, I remember that distractions are part of life. In this season of toddlerhood, it requires grace in the moment of distractions. That being said, minimizing distractions is important to give my daughter the time she needs to thrive in her educational setting too.
Plan a mini morning time with your toddler while your older kid does independent work. My daughter does her spelling, copywork, grammar, and math facts practice first during our school day. During this time, my 3 year old and I have his own morning time. We read a couple of picture books, a fairy tale, and mother goose rhymes.
Have “table work” ready for your toddle: For my son, this looks like reusable stickers, coloring sheets, lacing cards, puzzles, and sorting activities. We also enjoy working on our Early Alphabet lessons.
Set up invitations to play for your toddler: My son loves cars and trucks, so we set up a car mat, car track, and his trucks. At some point during our homeschool lessons, he’ll navigate over to his cars and trucks to play.
All the snacks: Seriously, have snacks ready. A variety of snacks saves us most homeschooling days.
Rotate your time between the kids: There are times that my son has to entertain himself because we’re doing instructional lessons. When my daughter has moved onto other independent work following a lesson, I try to spend that time with my son playing close by. I’m still attentive to my daughter and available to help, but I’m also able to break up the time between the kids so my toddler doesn't have to go as long without me.
Habit training: The term habit training can ruffle feathers but essentialy, it is just implementing good habits. I talk to my 3-year- old about the expectations before school. When I’m at the table with his sister I’m teaching and he should try not to interrupt. Does it always work? No, he interrupts us and I have to manage that. Will it work one day? Hopefully! This is where we come back to grace.
Plan fun things for the littlest one: We always talk about when we’re done with school we’re going to do xyz fun activity. It might be a bike ride to the duck pond, a visit to the library.
Plan time to play: My son lives to play with his sister. When the school day is over, he throws his tiny arms up and yells, “hooray! All done with school!” Once her lessons are over, my daughter loves to plan a fun game to play with her brother.
I think it’s important that you find the system that works best for you. I do most of my work and writing during my toddler’s rest time. Taking that time to do school would mean I couldn’t work during the day. Some families need nap time/rest time during the day to get formal lessons done.
There’s no shame in putting on a show. While we don’t utilize a show during school hours, I absolutely would if we had to.
Remember that this is a season and your toddler is learning alongside you on how to fit into the homeschool routine. There are some days that feel particularly hard and others that feel incredibly easy. This time does pass and the investment you make in including your littlest does help.
And so does having a hidden stash of chocolate to enjoy during rest time because homeschooling a big kid with a toddler in toe..is worthy of chocolate.
