Socializing a Highly Social Homeschool Kid
This blog post is going to be about socialization. I can already feel the eyes beginning to roll and disgruntled moans of, “well, they aren’t dogs.” I understand, I’ve heard it all before. What we aren’t going to do in this blog post is pit kids who go to school against homeschool kids and start talking about why one is better than the other. That’s what we’re avoiding.
What we are going to do is talk about having a highly social kid that you are homeschooling. My daughter (age 8) is such a kid. If she were in a classroom, I can almost guarantee her report cards would come home with comments that resembled those of her mama (me). For the record, my report card comments often included phrases like “social butterfly” and “friends with everyone”. In the nicest words, I talked to everyone, all the time, all day. My teachers were saints.
I’m not a parent who will say socialization is not important. Kids learning how to develop and maintain friendships, solve problems within friend groups, and have interests outside their family is, in my opinion, important for childhood development. In a classroom setting, kids are given opportunities for collaboration, group projects, conflict resolution, and building relationships. They even learn the important lesson of how to not be friends with someone but still behave kindly and respectfully. For some homeschooling families, socialization comes by way of sibling or cousin interactions. Our family is made up of an 8 year old and a 3 year old, and we live half a country away from her cousins. My daughter loves her brother, but she craves time with people outside her family.
For homeschool families, socialization isn’t a new topic of conversation. It is almost a guarantee that when you homeschool people will ask you how your child will socialize. There are literally hundreds of options but three areas that are helpful to start and are relatively low cost are.
Within your place of worship.
With kids in your community with similar interest. If your kid has an interest in mountain biking, try finding other families in the area to go for long rides with.
Meet with other families to work on part of your elective curriculum. Part of Little World Wanderers began as a an activity where I would meet with (non-homeschool) friends and we would read stories and work on crafts together.
Photo from Brooke Leigh Photography
Here are some ways we make sure our highly social homeschool kid gets time to socialize.
Within our church. Previously, we would attend church once a week and our daughter would go to Sunday school and vacation bible school to spend time with other kids. We paired this with a bi-weekly small group meeting with other families in our church. We took an extended break from in-person services over the last 2 years, but we’re slowly tiptoeing back into church as we’re able.
Dance classes: N began dance when she was 2. She’s now almost 9 she takes one class a week as well as dancing in the Nutcracker, which has rehearsals one day a week as well. She’s been at her studio for 6 years so she has friends in her class she’s known for some time.
Neighborhood friend: Last summer we discovered there was a whole crew of kiddos on our street. This has provided opportunities for “drop-in” playdates, which is always nice.
Co-op: We’re lucky enough to live in an area where we were able to get plugged into a co-op. We spend time with 4 other families that have children around the same age, homeschooling in the Charlotte Mason style. Once a week, we get together for lessons.
Girl Scouts: Our daughter has a little brother, most of the co-op is made of boys, and most of the neighborhood kids are boys. A need we recognized for her was spending time with girls her own age. This year we made the thoughtful decision to put our daughter in Girl Scouts. She loves her troop and is so happy there.
Intentional play dates: For some friends, we have to be more intentional about play dates. Sometimes this involves choosing an outing, planning a craft or activity, or getting outside for a hike. We’ve had friends over on their school breaks to make leprechaun houses, make hot chocolate, or plan a craft. Summer is especially sweet when N can visit her friends that are in school more regularly. For our friends that live further away, we like to meet at halfway points to hike or play.
It seems like our daughter is busy, and she is. The time for her in her social groups is very important to her and we try to respect that by providing time in a way that doesn’t diminish our family time either.
Since we do have a large age gap with our children, it’s important for N to have the time to be with other kids and develop these relationships. I’m sure if you’re thinking about how your child will socialize as a homeschool kid, you’re already doing many of these things.
Socialization doesn’t have to just happen in a classroom. There are so many ways for homeschool kids to have meaningful chances for socialization. These are just some ways we do it.
